Starting to type this is not easy. I don't know what to say. It just stinks that I just posted the happy news too.Here goes...
I had a check up with my midwife on Wednesday -one day shy of 21 weeks, and we couldn't find a heart beat. We had an ultrasound the next day and we confirmed that our sweet baby had passed away. She had a growth on the back of her neck called a cystic hygroma. The doctor is pretty sure she had Turner's syndrome. She'll do some tests on the placenta and then we'll know for sure.
I will deliver her tomorrow.
We were so excited for this baby. This is a shock to say the least. We are glad for the time we've had to celebrate the addition to our family and to be excited for her arrival. It hurts our hearts to think of waiting so long to know her. 10 months has always seemed so long to meet a baby but a lifetime is definitely longer.
It has broken our hearts. All the emotions are more than I am used to. I'm not sure how to handle it or how to help Zach and the kids.
It has just been hard.
We have had so much support from family and friends and it means more than I ever knew it could.
My house probably smells the best it ever has because of all the flowers. :)
I'm writing this as much for me as it is for you. There are too many people who care about us to call them all. Plus, I don't really feel much like talking. :) It is weird to go from angry to sad, to feeling such love in such short periods of time.
I do know the Lord has a plan for me and for our little girl. I feel blessed to have a little Angel in Heaven watching over us. I hope she knows how I long for her and ache to hold her and know her. I hope she knows. Eternity is real and I'm grateful for Jesus Christ who understands what I'm going through and who has made it possible for me and my family to progress together in this life and in the next. So grateful. Oh to live to be worthy of such blessings.
These pictures were taken by Ben at 17 weeks I think. -don't mind the dirty shorts. :) I didn't post these before but I still wanted to. Thanks for reading and for caring.
11 comments:
We love you guys so much. I am so sorry. Our hearts and prayers are with you tomorrow.
Oh Becca, I am so sorry! My thoughts and prayers are with you! Love you!
Becca I am so sorry for your family's loss, if there is anything I can do let me know. I would be happy to bring you dinner if you need it.
Becca, I am so very sorry. I will keep your family in my prayers.
Becca and Zach, we are so sorry to hear the news. We love you guys and so does our Heavenly Father!
We pray that you and your family will receive the comfort and peace and that life will become easier to live over time. Those angels in heaven are always around us helping us through this life and the trials we face. We Love You!!!!!!!!!
My heart breaks for you and your family. I'm so sorry that you have to endure this. I've never been through what you're going through right now, however, I did have to sit & watch my best friend watch her 6 week old son pass away, so I have a little bit of an insight, but if you ever need to talk/vent, you have my email (I think) AND I'm always just a phone call away. I have a listening ear.
Oh, Becca...I don't even know what to say except that I am so very very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your sweet family.
I am so sorry Becca, know that you and your sweet family will be in my prayers.
I'm so sorry Becca! You and your family are in our prayers.
Becca, thank you so much for sharing those pictures of your sweet Lily. They are so precious. I really am so sorry for your loss and am amazed by your strength. You are a great example!
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